Wall or A Secret Door?

So I find myself in a mental room where I look around at all the artwork on the wall (depictions of my current choices and options) and rather than reorganize them in a more efficient or pleasing way. I decide to just plop down and stare at my favorite and hope the rest of the room fixes itself.

And in non-methaphorical-land/right now, I am half playing Mass Effect (due to typing) and skimming my assigned readings for history (6 one or two page, dated news articles and two lengthy articles a total some 50 pages via word document standards/defaults). I slept off and on yesterday during the day and late evening and am currently up for the day (have been for a few hours now) and walk to class in about 3 hours from now...this is a more common depiction of my academic life. I realize that I should have done this reading sometime over the weekend or well anytime earlier, but I know that it will be done before class...somehow.

Anyway, the main topic of this blog is not the current, but the future. I have to pick classes for the fall this week, and I haven't seen an advisor (not really an issue as I know how to pick my classes and stuff), but I need to discuss starting the teacher's certification program...my only drawback is that my GPA in my history classes isn't high enough to meet the requirement for the program, leading me to believe that they'd tell me I couldn't start it anyway. Anyway, I've already taken classes which are both normal requirements for the program anyway and also fulfill gen ed & other requirements for graduation. I know I should be starting clinicals soon and in preparation I will be getting my license post 21st birthday this summer (OMG I KNOW!). Also, this fall I will start commuting rather than living near campus, so while getting my license is still needed I feel "dilemma'd" (as I'll term it) towards the fact that I could be starting clinicals perhaps this fall also...but maybe I shouldn't worry about it.

Also, I've noticed something which seems to happen all too often: at a certain point in the academic year grades for classes that I like seem to strengthen and the opposite for those I dislike. Since this semester is/was supposed to be one that overall strengthens my GPA, this worries me. I think if I try to change my habits towards those dropping classes and focus more on them in my free time that I should do better....however I am the King of knowing perfect solutions, but failing to practice them.

As the summer approaches the above seems to climax and then quickly fade, but in doing so, new situations arise, particularly Church related. Sr. Kim asked me to help out with the VBS program during the week of June 9th; this on one hand is a great way for me to help others and grow spiritually, but I may be stressed out still from school and just wanna hangout. Working/helping with the VBS thing would probably be useful experience for my future career as a teacher (even though I'd be working with much older kids than in the VBS program), but I also dislike dealing with kids during the elementary school age (hence my interest in Secondary Education rather than Elementary). It comes down to, on the simplest level, do I be self-less and sacrifice my energy/time to hold up others...or...do I use that time for myself in solitude to rejuvenate myself? The problem with this is that if I choose to help out with this will I be too exhausted for Special Person's Camp and/or other Summer things?

And that leads me to other Church stuff. Leah, a good friend of mine, is co-directing SPC (special person's camp) and would love to have me help her and be there to support her. I love SPC, but it may be the toughest week of my life, each year. I feel like this is one of those things that I say that I'm not sure if I'll do, but inside I kinda know that I will unless something prevents me from doing so.

There's the two conferences: Grove City, where I am being sound assistant (again) & chairman for one of the days. And at CBC, where not only am I the sound guy (again with my dad), but I have a sermon(ette) to give...and it's the 100th anniversary...so it's going to be crazy.

And I have the chance, as I'll probably be asked, to help with teen camp too...so yeah...

...so back to my babbling about artwork and this metaphorical room....What I notice about each picture is that it covers part of the wall that is my current life; I have to ask myself if I choose to keep this picture and hang it up, am I covering just a wall or a secret door?